The consequences of my huge problem with consistency

Consistency is Key, right?

Well, we’ve all heard that statement before haven’t we? As long as you stay consistent, you will se results. Not immediately of course but in the long term. Well, it’s not as easy as it sounds. Not for all of us, especially me. And I’m writing about this to acknowledge my mistake and to hopefully warn you from doing the same thing.

Quick and short background story:

I graduated high school when I was only 17, which is at a very young age since the average age is 18 & 19 here in Sweden! I’ve always been a creative soul. I’ve always had big dreams, loads of ideas all the time and a lot of projects going on. But I never had the tools to work with what I had. I simply didn’t know what to do with all my creativity and how to handle all the ideas and emotions I was going through. The second reason was fear. Mine and others. I didn’t believe in myself and fear was always chasing me in whatever I did. I was afraid to step out of my comfort zone even though I knew that all the magic things would happen outside of it.

Current life situation:

Now, at the age of 27 I’m going through a lot of flashbacks and reflections of my past. This have been going on during the 3 last years, because I’ve had a lot of free time to just sit with myself and reflect about my life in general. And it’s not until now that I’ve reached a point where I understand myself completely in and out.

I’m that kind of person who starts everything I do in life with an idea. It could be a simple one. While having that idea, I dream SO BIG. Just like the story of the girl who went to sell some milk. (If you don’t know the story here it is!) And then, I do everything I can to complete that idea. But before reaching that idea completely, when I’ve reached a certain amount of satisfaction on the way, I just leave everything as it is and I move on to another idea. And just like the girl, I spill all the milk and all the dreams are gone and I haven’t really reached the top results of the idea I started with.

I enjoy the struggle to get something and as soon as I have it, I Immediately look for something else. That’s because the moment my brain is not stimulated anymore by the idea, it just shuts down and look for something new to get stimulated about again.

With that said, I’ve NEVER been consistent with anything in my entire life. Not a single thing. Not my University degree, my driving’s license, my weight loss journey, my attempt to have a side hustle and so much more. I feel like 10 years of my life just passed away so quickly and I haven’t done a single project consistently. Basically because I hate doing the “boring” things in the journey of being consistent and because of other reasons like I mentioned previously. (Now don’t get me wrong I’ve literally lived life during these 10 years, working, traveling and enjoying life at it’s fullest. But that’s all just short term goals and satisfactions. I’m talking about the long term ones in this post)

I’ve changed so much as a person during these 10 years and I’m so happy that I’m finally, not only acknowledging my problem, but working so hard on myself to be a better version of myself. I mean I’m almost 30 now and the only thing that haven’t changed in me is my unique brain with all it’s ideas that still keeps me motivated in life. Having a lot of alone time have given me the opportunity to spend more time with myself and listen more to me and my needs. And to understand myself better of course. I absolutely love it and I hope to see some of my ideas bloom very soon.

So in conclusion, I learned things the hard way. And since we are all different when it comes to self development and our different journeys in life, you can’t tell someone to be consistent or to change if they don’t realize it themselves. It’s very easy to point fingers and to tell others what to don’t and do in life instead of talking about HOW to do it. It’s also comforting to talk about these things out load because not all of us were born to know what we wanna be when we get older.

So here I am, at the age of 27, confessing my biggest mistake in life, learning from it and moving on.