Can loneliness be a positive thing?

Loneliness plays a huge role in my unstable lifestyle. But can it be a positive thing? And how do I cope with it?

What is the definition of loneliness? Well if we search for it on google, this definition will show up:

As we can see, loneliness is linked to both sadness and isolation. But does it need to be that? Some people prefer to be isolated while others are forced to because of different circumstances in life. I remember watching the news once where they talked about loneliness in the UK. An elderly woman said in that reportage: “I go to the supermarket to talk to the employees, not to buy any products”. The reason I still remember this line is because I felt very sorry for her. She looked very sad and she said that sentence in a very sad tone.

Some introverts prefer to be alone and some extroverts need that as well. But in this BlogPod post we are talking about a different kind of “alone” time. When you sit alone 24/7 in the same place with no social connection whatsoever. A similar kind to isolation.

In my case, I move around a lot from a country to another. And of course I’m not all alone. God is with me first of all, and my lovely husband. But my friends, family and acquaintances are obviously not with me. While my husband drive to work every morning, he get a bit of that social life when meeting his boss and colleagues. Me on the other hand, I meet nobody. Maybe some random people at the grocery store, but we don’t really talk, do we? We only say, good day, hi and bye. That doesn’t count as socializing, does it?

Coming from a BIG family, I’m very used to loudness and people talking, screaming, laughing and crying all the time. To the point that I wish for some quietness. But when I moved out to live with my husband, the quietness was so overwhelming that I wished for some loudness. We as human being are never happy with anything, innit? And on top of that, moving around a lot, I never really get the chance to make friends properly. I stayed in Germany longer than in any other country so far, and I made some friends via the language course I attended. We invited each other over for dinners and had such a great time enjoying each others company.

However, I didn’t have that opportunity in The Netherlands because of Covid-19. The same thing with Denmark since I live in a farm far away from everything. And I haven’t attended any language course or anything like that. So how do I cope with loneliness?

• Take advantage of your alone time!

Being alone doesn’t need to be a negative thing, so turn it into something positive instead! Learn a new skill, try a new hobby or give your projects, that are still unfinished, all the time you have to get them done ✅ Read all the books you’ve never had time to read and enjoy every second of your alone time while doing all these things in peace.

I’m currently focusing on doing all my dreams in my Dream Jar before I turn 30 in 2 years! I’m also focusing on being consistent with my BlogPod and social media, once and for all! And lastly, I’m focusing on my health.

• Create a strong bond with your family

Now if you are DYING to talk to someone, talk to your family! I thought that every family had a strong bond like mine. But that’s not the case, unfortunately. Take this time to create a strong bond with your family. Create a family group on Whatsapp, challenge yourself to say good morning to your parents everyday over a phone call, reach out to your relatives and say hi! Talking to your family will give you another type of energy, trust me. You can bond over things, brainstorm ideas and just have a nice chat about what to cook for dinner.

We have a Whatsapp group in my family were we check up on each other. We try to have a video call once a week. And we do send funny pictures, videos and voice messages a lot! I do have another group with my relatives. I’m not very active there to be honest, but I do share my opinions on some subjects every now and then just to keep contact with everyone.

• Attend a course online!

If you are scared of the outer world and have totally forgotten about how to socialize because of Covid-19. Start with something online. Attend a course or create one yourself! That will give you a small piece of a social life during the day.

I’m currently teaching older woman how to use the computer and all about the Internet, via an adult educational association. We meet on Zoom 3 times a week and we discuss some topics, laugh and have a great time while learning something new.

• Visit your local mosque or muslim center

You will always find something there, always! One thing leads to another and when you try wholeheartedly to find something, Allah will put people on your way to help you find that. The mosque is always a great place to visit when you feel lonely, sad, happy or just looking for someone to say “assalam alaikom” to.

I try to visit the mosque every Friday for Friday prayer. And when I lived in Germany, I asked them if I could join the quran group every Wednesday. There is a BIG chance that you will meet someone there Inshallah!

• Search for dating apps for friends!

I did this in The Netherlands. I searched for apps specifically for finding friends and I did find a few. Now keep in mind that you may get in contact with almost anyone. So be careful, open minded and have fun with it! Look for reviews as well!

Unfortunately I never got the chance to meet anyone because of the pandemic and quarantine.

• Join groups on facebook

Find an interesting group on facebook and join it! It could be a group about the country you live in or a specific hobby you are interested in. First of all you will learn a lot about the country, the rules, laws, traditions, food and so much more. You may also find someone to meet over a cup of coffee! Be brave and write something on the group wall, you’ll get surprised about how many individuals who are sitting in the same boat as you.

I joined several groups when I started traveling around. “Swedes in Germany”, “Swedes in The Netherlands” and “Muslims in Denmark” just to name a few. I reached out to people and received a positive response. That led to me joining a Whatsapp group for muslim sisters in The Netherlands!

• Look for a job, attend a hobby course or create a membership at the gym

I know, these people are not friends, but they can be! They will be your colleagues, classmates or gym companions to start with. And these relationships can turn into friendships. The most important thing here is to socialize!

I’ve applied for a couple of jobs here in Denmark and I’m patiently waiting for any responses! I’d be more than happy to go to a place to where I can work, have an income and socialize with people. I even went to the gym and created a membership! First of all to lose weight and maintain a strong body. And second of all, I may find someone interesting there, who knows?

These tips I’m sharing with y’all are actually things I’ve tried myself. They have helped me a lot with my loneliness and it’s always fun to try something new and to get out of your comfort zone. You never know how many interesting things that are waiting for you around the corner.

Thank you so much for reading/listening and I wish you all a happy week!